The following is a text conversation I had with my friend Chuck.
CHUCK: Anyone talk to J lately? Is his phone off?
ME: He sent a mass txt last Friday. That's the last I've heard from him.
CHUCK: Last I talked to him was Sunday. Maybe the American Gladiators got ahold of him.
ME: I blame the deaf chick.
CHUCK: Deaf chick?
ME: One of the female gladiators was a deaf chick.
CHUCK: Deaf rapists can't hear you say "no."
Goodnight everybody!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Heroes From Our Past - Not Just a Kick Ass Dropkick Murphys Song
Subject: Marcel Marceau
The world’s most famous mime ever passed away this past weekend and like most I passed it off as the loss of an entertainer who entertained millions, just not me. I knew he was a mime, I knew that as a further sign of Mel Brooks’ genius he had the only speaking role in Silent Movie. Then I started hearing odd things here and there about him and with a little research discovered he was a hero.
Since anyone can look up this stuff for themselves, I will keep it brief.
Marcel Marceau was Jewish and living in France during World War II where his father was arrested and later murdered at Auschwitz, even before that happened Marcel was already working with the French Underground, notably working as a direct liaison with General Patton.
I haven’t done any more research into his war record, but for my money, the French Underground was incredibly brave and integral in the defeat of the Nazis and therefore mime or not, Marcel Marceau was indeed a hero.
The world’s most famous mime ever passed away this past weekend and like most I passed it off as the loss of an entertainer who entertained millions, just not me. I knew he was a mime, I knew that as a further sign of Mel Brooks’ genius he had the only speaking role in Silent Movie. Then I started hearing odd things here and there about him and with a little research discovered he was a hero.
Since anyone can look up this stuff for themselves, I will keep it brief.
Marcel Marceau was Jewish and living in France during World War II where his father was arrested and later murdered at Auschwitz, even before that happened Marcel was already working with the French Underground, notably working as a direct liaison with General Patton.
I haven’t done any more research into his war record, but for my money, the French Underground was incredibly brave and integral in the defeat of the Nazis and therefore mime or not, Marcel Marceau was indeed a hero.
Friday, September 21, 2007
It's Just How I Roll
Like nearly every other blogger out there I plan to write a review from time to time, however I’d like to establish a familiarity to my style/thinking so to save me from explaining certain things over and over again when I write one.
I try to keep an open mind about things. I realize that my opinions are just that, my opinions and I always try my hardest to present them either in a fun way or very matter of fact to insure that it’s very clear why I feel a certain way. On that same note I realize not every movie/book/TV show is designed to win an award. Casablanca is one of my all time favorite movies, but so is Army of Darkness. Clearly the first is deserving of accolades while the other is pure mindless entertainment gold. But again, there isn’t a single movie in the world that everybody thinks is perfect.
What follows is a quick breakdown for the different genres I will be touching on from time to time:
Movies
Movies are my strongest passion and to me what makes a great movie is one where all the key players convey their own passion for the material. Also the things absolutely necessary for me to enjoy a movie are first off the writing, that the story actually be either well thought out whether it be gripping or just genuinely fun(ny). Second then is the acting as I want to feel like the people who were paid to entertain me actually cared about what they were doing. Where directing, special effects, etc. falls all depends on how the first two do. There are some movies that are great stories but don’t have a noticeable directed style so it’s pointless to fixate on it. See, that’s simple enough.
Comics
My second passion; comics, and yes it is a legitimate form of literature. Comics have come a long way from the Golden Age/Silver Age which is often considered hokey and geared towards kids. Yes in books you have to craft an image with words so that the reader’s mind can see what you want them to, but with comics a writer and artist together (sometimes both the same person) actually show you their story in beautiful panels of ink that can make your jaw drop. I always judge comics on those two things separately: the story (does it flow well, does it make sense, was it pretentious) and then the art (does it convey the story well, does it fit the mood, is it pretentious). True either one can make or break a book, but the story is the reason I actually want to read the book.
Books
The written word is powerful, and I love feeling that power. There are few things better than reading a book and not being able to put it down because you care about characters that are typed out in front of you. To me a good book has to be able to do that. I want to feel like the author actually cares about his creations, not just throwing a story together with a bunch of facts he/she happened to read about while writing the book and trying to seem smart (::cough::DanBrown::cough::).
I won’t touch on music since even though I feel passionate about music, too, I don’t really like writing about it. And as for TV shows, we’ll see, but it falls along a lot of the same lines as Movies.
Obviously feel free to agree or disagree, just be clear as to why, not some stupid High School or IMDB comment like:
Rand0mIdi0t69: The Day the Earth Stood Still, sucked!
MrSensible: Why do you say that?
Rand0mIdi0t69: Because it did!
Seriously, IMDB makes me consider forcibly regulating internet access, however it does give all the spazzes somewhere to go and leave me alone.
I try to keep an open mind about things. I realize that my opinions are just that, my opinions and I always try my hardest to present them either in a fun way or very matter of fact to insure that it’s very clear why I feel a certain way. On that same note I realize not every movie/book/TV show is designed to win an award. Casablanca is one of my all time favorite movies, but so is Army of Darkness. Clearly the first is deserving of accolades while the other is pure mindless entertainment gold. But again, there isn’t a single movie in the world that everybody thinks is perfect.
What follows is a quick breakdown for the different genres I will be touching on from time to time:
Movies
Movies are my strongest passion and to me what makes a great movie is one where all the key players convey their own passion for the material. Also the things absolutely necessary for me to enjoy a movie are first off the writing, that the story actually be either well thought out whether it be gripping or just genuinely fun(ny). Second then is the acting as I want to feel like the people who were paid to entertain me actually cared about what they were doing. Where directing, special effects, etc. falls all depends on how the first two do. There are some movies that are great stories but don’t have a noticeable directed style so it’s pointless to fixate on it. See, that’s simple enough.
Comics
My second passion; comics, and yes it is a legitimate form of literature. Comics have come a long way from the Golden Age/Silver Age which is often considered hokey and geared towards kids. Yes in books you have to craft an image with words so that the reader’s mind can see what you want them to, but with comics a writer and artist together (sometimes both the same person) actually show you their story in beautiful panels of ink that can make your jaw drop. I always judge comics on those two things separately: the story (does it flow well, does it make sense, was it pretentious) and then the art (does it convey the story well, does it fit the mood, is it pretentious). True either one can make or break a book, but the story is the reason I actually want to read the book.
Books
The written word is powerful, and I love feeling that power. There are few things better than reading a book and not being able to put it down because you care about characters that are typed out in front of you. To me a good book has to be able to do that. I want to feel like the author actually cares about his creations, not just throwing a story together with a bunch of facts he/she happened to read about while writing the book and trying to seem smart (::cough::DanBrown::cough::).
I won’t touch on music since even though I feel passionate about music, too, I don’t really like writing about it. And as for TV shows, we’ll see, but it falls along a lot of the same lines as Movies.
Obviously feel free to agree or disagree, just be clear as to why, not some stupid High School or IMDB comment like:
Rand0mIdi0t69: The Day the Earth Stood Still, sucked!
MrSensible: Why do you say that?
Rand0mIdi0t69: Because it did!
Seriously, IMDB makes me consider forcibly regulating internet access, however it does give all the spazzes somewhere to go and leave me alone.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
A Probin' We Will Go
Alien: Well since this is your first time I suppose I can let you choose which one you get first.
_____________________________
Toyfare (a magazine about toys) used to do these things called "Big Shots" in their price guide. They were one panel comics of pretty much random toys thrown in front of strange backgrounds and then had funny (sometimes not) speech balloons or captions. They also had a "Caption This" contest every month with just a picture and then fans went on-line to come up with the funniest caption (they still do this every now and then). This developed into what's known as Twisted Toyfare Theater, which then paved way for the Adult Swim show, Robot Chicken (two of the producers are in fact former employees of Toyfare who worked on Twisted Toyfare Theater).
Anyways I was going through some stuff and came across this Alien figure (from Hellboy) and this shot immediately popped into my head. Unfortunately I didn't have anything to use for a back drop so there's a horrible shadow. Oh well. Feel free to post a funny comment of your own. And yes that is a Tuskernini figure from Darkwing Duck.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I'm an "Uncle"
Last Wed. (9/12/07), Hayden Michael Rollins was welcomed into the world (at 7lbs. 13oz, 21" for those who may ask). He is the child of my best friend Mike and his girlfriend Lauralye. Mike and I have been best friends since 8th grade and I couldn't be happier for him and Lauralye. I myself can't stop beaming over the fact that I'm going to be able to help them raise this child.
I think it's funny that me and the four guys I consider brothers all have something that can be refered to as "God's way of compensating" for the often stupid things we do. I'm ridiculously knowledgable of pop culture. Caleb (who actually is my brother) is ridiculously book smart. J is a crazy good chef. Chuck is hands down the most genuinely nice person I have ever known. And Mike is great with kids.
And one more for the road. Welcome to Earth, little buddy:
Failing to Succeed
As an inspiring writer and a fan of most pop-culture a recent major pet peeve of mine is Hollywood’s ability to fail spectacularly at the simplest of tasks, making a movie or television series based on a long standing pre-existing property.
Movies based on pre-existing properties, stories and characters that have been well established in the media for years, should be ridiculously easy to make in a way that will appease almost everyone. The formula and characters are already are there, all you have to do is translate it to a 2-3 hour screenplay (as the case is these days). Now I understand the need to modernize things, maybe give it updated little twists, but what you shouldn’t do is change everything but the most basic of things like names. At that point it’s no longer a re-imaging; it’s a new idea that simply plagiarizes some characters and story elements.
This past summer of 2007 we were given the big one, Transformers. I will admit that I have not seen this movie yet, but it’s because nothing other than the name appeals to me. The story; almost completely different from the cartoon. The characters; almost completely unrecognizable as the characters I loved as a child. As robots, they no longer look like they should transform into cars and trucks, which was one of the greatest appeals of the show. And the worst part, Michael Bay could not stop talking about how he was a huge fan of Transformers. Saying this has become a warning sign that the movie will have little to do with the source material, just look at Aliens Vs Predator. In recent months I’ve discovered that Bay’s incompetence went deeper than just making the Transformers look stupid. Originally none of them were going to be able to speak English, just beep and what not to communicate with each other (apparently this idea was kept for Bumblebee) and Optimus Prime’s trademark windshield chest plate was no where to be seen, leaving only his head to make him recognizable as Optimus Prime (though eventually they got Peter Cullen to do the voice, the only saving grace for my part). Fortunately Hasbro/Takara (the toy company that owns the rights to the Transformers universe) put a stop to this.
The reviews I’ve read have relaxed my apprehension about this movie being remembered as an outstanding action flick as they ring with the all too familiar feelings of reviews of Star Wars Episode I after it came out. Where even when talking about the things they liked about the movie it is all stuff that’s related to insignificant things that have nothing to do with the actual story, and even then are hollow and defensive. So with any luck like Star Wars Episode I, in about two years people who loved it will start to realize that it actually is terribly flawed in the exact same ways.
Now because of Transformers we’re getting a GI Joe movie. The idea of GI Joe has been around long before I was born (1942). And what is the full title for GI Joe, boys and girls? It’s “GI Joe: A Real American Hero.” My putting “American” in bold should give you an idea of what the main idea for the movie is: GI Joe is now a multi national task force based in Brussels. And so far that’s all we really know about the movie. There are a few rumors that make it seem like they’re combining Cobra Commander and Destro into one character, but that’s just a rumor for now, but that doesn’t matter since already they took a basic concept and absolutely ruined it in the simplest way possible, just to make it appeal to a worldwide market more. So at this point even if Steven Sommers wasn’t directing it (he wrote and directed Van Helsing, the first movie that I can ever remember turning off because it was so bad), I do not want to see it because it will not be GI Joe in anyway other than the name.
Now a note on television series. I have not seen it yet, but I hear that aside from some down time now and then, Battlestar Galactica got it right (I saw the pilot/movie and was very unimpressed so I didn’t hop on the series that apparently got really good really fast). This opened up doors and now we’re getting things like Flash Gordon and The Bionic Woman. While the pilot of Bionic Woman is out there, I haven’t seen that yet, but already the head writer/producer has quit due to the network and other producers ruining his vision. Not a good sign. But the main thing I wanted to address if Flash Gordon.
Flash Gordon is another property that’s been around longer than I have (1934) and was a great adventure series involving space ships, aliens, alien worlds, and heroes fighting odds far greater than themselves. So a remake using the same formula as Battlestar Galactica would be awesome, right? Yeah, that would’ve worked if they did that. Instead we get a story about a long distance runner in a small town who randomly jumps back and forth to a planet called Mongo via a very Sliders like mechanism. No space ships. No huge laser gun fights. And the main villain just does not have the presence to be called Ming the Merciless. Just average looking blond guy, no Machiavellian appearance at all! I will say this, the acting is very good, it’s everything else that sucks.
So Hollywood I’m going to give you something free of charge. Go ahead and take the idea and run with it. And keep in mind I’m writing this as I think about it, I originally planned to write something about the A-Team but came up with this just now.
Knight Rider: The Movie. Michael Knight and his wife, Katie “Kitt” Knight, are scientists working on a massive AI program that uses pre-existing brain patterns of a living person. The company funding them is actually a front for a massive illegal arms merchant specializing in high tech weaponry, hoping that the Knights’ new computer system will be their biggest money maker ever. After stumbling on this, the Knights’ try to escape with their research, only to be killed, or so it would seem. They barely survive the explosion designed to kill them in an “accident,” but Kitt is barely breathing, but gives Michael enough time to transfer her thought patterns into the onboard computer of a prototype car they originally thought was being designed for police. Together again now as a man thought dead and a car with sophisticated machinery and non-lethal weapons, they set out to get bring down the corporation that tried to kill them, and who’s very existence threatens the American way. Just think about it: Car chases, techno babble, a non-lethal weapons system on the hero making it more marketable to younger viewers.
It’ll be a gold mine. And for the grown-ups there’ll be a tender moment in the movie where they stop thinking about their mission and give into their deep, true love that they still have for each other, expressing it in the most pure and beautiful physical way possible; Michael fucks the car (this has to be done with implication shots since it will be PG-13). It has to be edgy, you know.
Movies based on pre-existing properties, stories and characters that have been well established in the media for years, should be ridiculously easy to make in a way that will appease almost everyone. The formula and characters are already are there, all you have to do is translate it to a 2-3 hour screenplay (as the case is these days). Now I understand the need to modernize things, maybe give it updated little twists, but what you shouldn’t do is change everything but the most basic of things like names. At that point it’s no longer a re-imaging; it’s a new idea that simply plagiarizes some characters and story elements.
This past summer of 2007 we were given the big one, Transformers. I will admit that I have not seen this movie yet, but it’s because nothing other than the name appeals to me. The story; almost completely different from the cartoon. The characters; almost completely unrecognizable as the characters I loved as a child. As robots, they no longer look like they should transform into cars and trucks, which was one of the greatest appeals of the show. And the worst part, Michael Bay could not stop talking about how he was a huge fan of Transformers. Saying this has become a warning sign that the movie will have little to do with the source material, just look at Aliens Vs Predator. In recent months I’ve discovered that Bay’s incompetence went deeper than just making the Transformers look stupid. Originally none of them were going to be able to speak English, just beep and what not to communicate with each other (apparently this idea was kept for Bumblebee) and Optimus Prime’s trademark windshield chest plate was no where to be seen, leaving only his head to make him recognizable as Optimus Prime (though eventually they got Peter Cullen to do the voice, the only saving grace for my part). Fortunately Hasbro/Takara (the toy company that owns the rights to the Transformers universe) put a stop to this.
The reviews I’ve read have relaxed my apprehension about this movie being remembered as an outstanding action flick as they ring with the all too familiar feelings of reviews of Star Wars Episode I after it came out. Where even when talking about the things they liked about the movie it is all stuff that’s related to insignificant things that have nothing to do with the actual story, and even then are hollow and defensive. So with any luck like Star Wars Episode I, in about two years people who loved it will start to realize that it actually is terribly flawed in the exact same ways.
Now because of Transformers we’re getting a GI Joe movie. The idea of GI Joe has been around long before I was born (1942). And what is the full title for GI Joe, boys and girls? It’s “GI Joe: A Real American Hero.” My putting “American” in bold should give you an idea of what the main idea for the movie is: GI Joe is now a multi national task force based in Brussels. And so far that’s all we really know about the movie. There are a few rumors that make it seem like they’re combining Cobra Commander and Destro into one character, but that’s just a rumor for now, but that doesn’t matter since already they took a basic concept and absolutely ruined it in the simplest way possible, just to make it appeal to a worldwide market more. So at this point even if Steven Sommers wasn’t directing it (he wrote and directed Van Helsing, the first movie that I can ever remember turning off because it was so bad), I do not want to see it because it will not be GI Joe in anyway other than the name.
Now a note on television series. I have not seen it yet, but I hear that aside from some down time now and then, Battlestar Galactica got it right (I saw the pilot/movie and was very unimpressed so I didn’t hop on the series that apparently got really good really fast). This opened up doors and now we’re getting things like Flash Gordon and The Bionic Woman. While the pilot of Bionic Woman is out there, I haven’t seen that yet, but already the head writer/producer has quit due to the network and other producers ruining his vision. Not a good sign. But the main thing I wanted to address if Flash Gordon.
Flash Gordon is another property that’s been around longer than I have (1934) and was a great adventure series involving space ships, aliens, alien worlds, and heroes fighting odds far greater than themselves. So a remake using the same formula as Battlestar Galactica would be awesome, right? Yeah, that would’ve worked if they did that. Instead we get a story about a long distance runner in a small town who randomly jumps back and forth to a planet called Mongo via a very Sliders like mechanism. No space ships. No huge laser gun fights. And the main villain just does not have the presence to be called Ming the Merciless. Just average looking blond guy, no Machiavellian appearance at all! I will say this, the acting is very good, it’s everything else that sucks.
So Hollywood I’m going to give you something free of charge. Go ahead and take the idea and run with it. And keep in mind I’m writing this as I think about it, I originally planned to write something about the A-Team but came up with this just now.
Knight Rider: The Movie. Michael Knight and his wife, Katie “Kitt” Knight, are scientists working on a massive AI program that uses pre-existing brain patterns of a living person. The company funding them is actually a front for a massive illegal arms merchant specializing in high tech weaponry, hoping that the Knights’ new computer system will be their biggest money maker ever. After stumbling on this, the Knights’ try to escape with their research, only to be killed, or so it would seem. They barely survive the explosion designed to kill them in an “accident,” but Kitt is barely breathing, but gives Michael enough time to transfer her thought patterns into the onboard computer of a prototype car they originally thought was being designed for police. Together again now as a man thought dead and a car with sophisticated machinery and non-lethal weapons, they set out to get bring down the corporation that tried to kill them, and who’s very existence threatens the American way. Just think about it: Car chases, techno babble, a non-lethal weapons system on the hero making it more marketable to younger viewers.
It’ll be a gold mine. And for the grown-ups there’ll be a tender moment in the movie where they stop thinking about their mission and give into their deep, true love that they still have for each other, expressing it in the most pure and beautiful physical way possible; Michael fucks the car (this has to be done with implication shots since it will be PG-13). It has to be edgy, you know.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Putting it to rest
As the few people who still look at it already know, AnotherDarkHole is pretty much dead. I haven't updated it in over a year and a half. It's not that I or any of those who wrote for me have run out of things to say, I just don't have the time to do all the file managing required for that page. As I so often point out, that may not be the case if I knew anything about HTML or webpage building in general.
But what I do know is how to have fun. At least I think I do. Or hope. No, think. Hope is mankind's folley, and thought I'm not sure what that has to do sound effects, I'm certainly not a party to it.
So now I will do my thing here instead. I still have a MySpace page for ADH that I check, but pretty much never use it so, here's the place to be. It was a really fun ride working with my brother and a few of our friends just to try and make people smile, developing from a completely disorganized mess of a personal page to a completely disorganized mess of a comedy page. I look back at my first works and just shake my head. It's almost as bad as when I look at stuff I wrote in high school that I thought was amazing at the time.
Oh well, time to have fun.
But what I do know is how to have fun. At least I think I do. Or hope. No, think. Hope is mankind's folley, and thought I'm not sure what that has to do sound effects, I'm certainly not a party to it.
So now I will do my thing here instead. I still have a MySpace page for ADH that I check, but pretty much never use it so, here's the place to be. It was a really fun ride working with my brother and a few of our friends just to try and make people smile, developing from a completely disorganized mess of a personal page to a completely disorganized mess of a comedy page. I look back at my first works and just shake my head. It's almost as bad as when I look at stuff I wrote in high school that I thought was amazing at the time.
Oh well, time to have fun.
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